lousy

I've had lousier days, really. But just felt like so today.

I feel bad feeling lousy. I actually feel super blessed, I can't thank God enough! 

On days like these, I'd like to focus on the highs (I've down this whole highs-lows thing before on blogville) rather than on the lows. Obviously, the highs overshoot over the lows. Then again, the lows are still lows, they still pull out the fun in things, they rob out the life in me... 

So it went...

Woke up pretty "late" ("late" as in 5:48 am - yes, am not kidding) - in the context of the past two weeks' household wake-up call at 5:30 am, what with prayer time set at 6:00 am - non-negotiable schedule at that, being that I, myself, set it. Hmmm I'm not making much sense here just yet, bear with me. My brain just half-functioning, really. Sooo, I've been living with 10 other sisters in community for the past week or so now. We have this stay-in retreat-like activity we refer to as a Household - as in, we live together in one household for two whole weeks - we'd wake up together (at 5:30 am at that, like I already mentioned; geez, mind going in circles here), pray together, cook together, share meals together. We continue to do our work, as in every day. We leave the "house" at 8 am to head on to our offices, spend our lunches with our respective families (lest they get used to not having us around), then head back to the "house" at 6 pm, prepare for dinner (clean rooms or bathrooms in between), have dinner at past 7, then we have a night activity (we've had a movie night, taebo, bible study, spa/chill-out night, listened to talks, etc.), then we end the day with our common night prayers.

It's been such a joy sharing a house with these amazing women, each coming from different walks of life. As in the past 2 Households I've joined in the past 4 years, I continue to be amazed by the different stories we share, but more so, I am amazed at how we are all drawn together, spending this much time together, getting to know each other better, establishing deeper friendships, cultivating our sisterhood, and most importantly, how we are all drawn together because of our love for our ever-faithful, equally amazing God.

So there, I needed to let all that out for the lousy in me to be shooed away. Sometimes I just need a slap on the face for me to focus on the better things of the day. 

Yes, the lousy is still there (shoo, shoo, shoo now) but a smile is painted on my face now. Appreciating the better side. The brightside. Awww. The life. Can get crazy-lousy at times. Nonetheless, I am reminded of a Love that's never lousy, never crazy... always steady, always unconditional...

Then again I say, I rest my "lousy" case.